Marriage Relationship problems-presuming solutions exist

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Marriage Relationship problems-presuming solutions exist

Marriage Relationship problems

While it is true that most relationships start out wonderfully and with lots of goodwill,promise and anticipation it rarely takes long for potential and indeed real problems to arise.All relationships have their fair share of relationship problems. While some relationship problems do have easy found solutions other are more difficult to solve and can seem intractable. however even when a ready solution cannot be found for seemingly intractable problems they can be more readily overcome simply with compassion,tolerance, understanding , empathy and mindful acceptance.

Divorce is not the solution when a marriage is in crisis..

"A crisis is a chance to make things better,to rebuild...to rise like the Pheonix from the ashes"

Marriage Relationship problems

Sometimes the easiest way out of conflict for example is to have a prior agreement to agree to disagree. Couples in relationship do not have to agree on every single thing in order to be happy, yet you would think that judging by the behavior of some that there was a mandate somewhere or other that states that a couple "should" or "must" be a clone of each other as if this is somehow desrable rather than nonsensical approach to relating....Don't sweat the small stuff and on closer inspection in relationships most of it is


"Don't sweat the small stuff and on closer inspection in relationships most of it is"

Not all relationship problems are resolvable

Recent research into marriage indicates that not all problems in marriage are resolvable and a ignorant unaware couple trying to find the mythical perfect solution, arguing about the very same old things, using the same tired out responses and reactions (just more of the same) 25 years later, when a simple solution would be for them to drop it, to say to each other "hey this is not working...it didn't work the last time we did this and it won't in the future" and let it go. not the perfect solution of course for some who are insistent on having things their own way or that things "should be", "ought to be" and it is "only fair" but it is better than tearing strips off each other for 20 odd years and spoiling too many of their days together with such negativity.Sometimes a solution cannot be found.

Save your Marriage-becoming Solution Focused
means that you do ask not "why" over and over again but rather what,when.who,where and how..

From the outset when it comes to problem solving it is far better to presume a solution exists (without insisting that it must or iy must conform to some sort of "right")..It may not be the perfect (very few things in this world are perfect) definitive solution but if things go a bit better (even if only a little bi)t then this is far better than remaining stuck in a rut,going around in circles. Further down the track a more optimal solution maybe found...or luckily it just may not that much any more...Just think of Thomas Edison search for a Filament for the light bulb...it is said that he tried over 500 different combinations to eventually arrive at one that worked better than all the other's...Light bulbs still "burn out" to this day but Edison's solution for the most part works well (and in time will be improved upon as are most things)..Marriage and Relationships are the same, they have problems and always have had and always will do, but by presuming a solution of some kind exists put in play the willingness to improve them and that alone can be enough.

Willingness,attitude,creativity and staying on track are everything..

How does one arrive at a solution?...well they brainstorm, they try different things many of them "outside of the box" and test out what they think might have potential, has a chance of working...what they rarely do it launch personal self esteem destroying attacks on their partners (although they may still argue from their perspective passionately) they stay on focus ("the problem to be resolved" if it can be rather than "you stupid fool you are wrecking everything") and look for what is possible even if it is not perfect...

OK here's an exercise, a chance for you to get busy being creative....Come up with fifty possible uses for a paper clip.

at first glance this sounds impossible, "a paper clip is a paper clip!" but it isn't. A number of problem solvers recently came up with a record of over 100 uses for a paperclip

Marriage Relationship problems

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Tushar Virani has 1 articles online

Tushar Virani

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Marriage Relationship problems-presuming solutions exist

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This article was published on 2011/09/01